Mummy is thinking about buying an iPhone Duo.
She says she needs one.
Naturally, I asked why.
Apparently Mummy has Direct Agility, Direct EWoW, her own websites, social media, content, marketing and something she calls her day job.
This does sound like quite a lot.
I also have several responsibilities. Breakfast. Lunchtime treat. Dinner. Monitoring Daddy. Moving between my various beds. And making sure Anna isn't doing anything I need to know about.
Yet somehow, I manage all of this without two screens.
Mummy says it isn't the same.
We have agreed to disagree.
The productivity question
Mummy says having more screen space could make her more productive.
I asked what this means.
Apparently, she might get things done faster.
Excellent. Close the laptop. Put the phone down. Pick me up.
I now fully support productivity.
There is, however, something I have noticed about humans.
“Whenever humans find a way to do things faster, they don't finish earlier. They just find more things to do.”
I consider this a design flaw.
If the Duo helps Mummy finish work earlier and come downstairs, five stars.
If it simply allows her to answer twice as many emails, one star.
Further investigation required.
The camera situation
Now we reach something genuinely important.
Mummy takes a lot of photographs of me. Sleeping. Sunbathing. Sitting in the car. Sitting on the sofa. Occasionally doing absolutely nothing.
Apparently I am being “cute.”
I am trying to have a private life.
A phone designed to make taking photographs easier therefore presents both opportunities and risks.
The opportunity is better photographs of me.
The risk is... more photographs of me.
Anna presents a different technical challenge. Anna rarely stays where the photograph started.
Any camera capable of solving that deserves considerable recognition.
Battery life
Mummy is interested in whether the battery can keep up with everything she does.
This seems reasonable.
Her phone needs to survive work, emails, websites, social media, photographs, navigation and whatever she's looking at when she says: “I'm just checking one thing.”
This is rarely one thing.
Personally, I manage my energy differently. I sleep for several hours during the day.
I recommend Mummy considers this.
Technology is impressive.
Naps remain undefeated.
Do humans actually need more technology?
This is where I have concerns.
Mummy already has a phone. She has a laptop. There are other screens in the house. Daddy has screens. There are screens everywhere.
And yet humans appear very excited whenever someone invents... another screen.
I don't have a screen. When I eat, I eat. When I sleep, I sleep. When I stare at Mummy because dinner is late, I give it my full attention.
Perhaps the problem isn't that humans need more screens.
Perhaps humans need to become better at staring.
The features that actually matter
Whatever else this phone can do, I have several requirements.
The Executive Assessment
The Izzie Verdict
I began this review expecting to reject Mummy's proposal.
Unfortunately, she has presented a reasonably convincing business case.
She manages several businesses and websites, creates content and marketing, runs social media and still has her day job.
Being able to work more effectively from one device could genuinely be useful.
This is inconvenient for my argument.
But there is one condition.
If having two screens means Mummy gets more done and therefore spends less time working, I approve.
If having two screens simply means Mummy finds twice as much work to do... I want the old phone back.
Executive Decision
Approval Pending
If Mummy actually buys one, I will conduct a full review. Camera. Battery. Business use. Content creation. Two-screen working.
And the most important test of all: does it improve life for Izzie?
Until then, no final approval has been granted.
Although Mummy appears to be looking at the website again.
I suspect my authority may be limited.
Izzie